My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
