I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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