recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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