Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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