good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I understand Curling. That high.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
