do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
