Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
