When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
