someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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