you guys were way drunker than both of me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
