i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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