All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dicks are not precious.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
