wat bout pragnant strippers??
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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