Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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