Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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