Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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