grandma shit on top of the toilet
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
