so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
