he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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