so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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