Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
