Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
