I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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