fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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