do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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