While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
