Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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