How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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