You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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