she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
