Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
