I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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