dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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