went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize