So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
