My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so let's talk penis.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
