Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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