Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
there's paper in my vomit.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
NoShamevember. You game?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
