if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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