I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think your dad took our porno
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize