It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Randomize
