So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
