i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
