I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
