his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
