Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
