Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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