She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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