His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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