Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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