I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
