We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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