Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
