did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
this is an emotional support booty call
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
