Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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