i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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