There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
