im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
