I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
