when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize