I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
pray to the hookup gods
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
