i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize