That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
