we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
