whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
