I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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