Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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