you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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